Book Report I: “Do Fathers Matter?”
One of the many reasons I love this job is the wealth of knowledge I get to dive into and bring back to the families I serve. But before this was my day job, I was a busy parent who didn’t have time to read the nooks and crannies of pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum literature. If you like this summary, reach out - I might have a copy you can borrow!
*A Note: While it is my personal belief that families can involve moms, mamas, dads, papas, abbas, and nanas, not every resource uses language that reflects that reality. “Father” in this case is used to refer to the biological non-birthing parent. Much of this research is applicable to any caretaker who spends a lot of time with baby during the immediate postpartum period*
I’m on my way to a DONA certification as a postpartum doula, so I get to set aside lots of time in my day to work through an expansive reading list. As I perused my options, I saw a lot of words I would have expected: pregnancy, mom, body, baby. “Do Fathers Matter” jumped off the page, so I grabbed it from Thriftbooks.com (not an ad, just a thrifty reader). During my own pregnancy and postpartum period, it was easy to see that pregnancy can be hard to engage with as a partner. With so much focus on the pregnancy and the baby, imagining space for anyone else is difficult. The answer seemed obvious, “Of course, fathers matter!” But how?
“When we bother to look for the father’s impact, we find it — always.” In just under 300 pages, Paul Raeburn shares his findings from a deep dive into this less well-known field of study.
The book starts at the very beginning: conception. Raeburn highlighted studies performed across generations in Overkalix, Sweden, using meticulous farming and population data. In centuries of spreadsheets, they uncovered that a paternal grandfather’s access to food in childhood could predict long-term health outcomes for a child (check out the original paper here). Further work on this idea has been published (here) and had similar conclusions. The idea that a father or grandfather’s lifetime exposures could impact future children is groundbreaking, and I can’t wait to see what more comes from this.
The next few chapters cover pregnancy and childbirth. Here, it is common knowledge that the pregnant body undergoes rapid and drastic changes. Hormones are reaching new peaks and valleys in preparation for a healthy pregnancy, bones are moving to make room, and spaghettios seem delicious for some reason. But a partner’s body changes, too, getting ready to care and safeguard the newest member of the family. In a study measuring testosterone levels, male partners showed a nearly 33% drop in their testosterone levels after holding baby for the first time. Higher levels of this chemical are linked to competitive behavior and aggression. While there is so much more to parenting than biology, this drop is also correlated to higher levels of bonding hormones (oxytocin) and lower levels of stress hormones (cortisol). Essentially, a newborn baby can trigger chemical reactions in people other than their gestational parent. These warm and fuzzy changes are nature’s way of helping babies meet their needs; they’re pretty helpless, so they have to be cute!
As children grow, the idea of a non-maternal figure becomes important. Throughout nature, we see a parent in the primary caretaking role. With a few notable exceptions, this is the female parent. Often, the other parent doesn’t stick around long but when they do, it has been shown that their offspring fare better overall than similar single-parent species. And it’s probably as simple as it seems: more hands make for lighter work. With one parent out foraging or hunting, the other can protect the young and teach important social or survival skills to ensure future offspring. The same is essentially true in the human model, though obviously much more complex. Not every two parent family is meant to be and many one-parent families master the art of Village Building to provide a child with all of the support they could ever need.
The National Fatherhood Institute (NFI) has studied fatherlessness for almost 30 years and found conclusively that a close relationship with their father significantly reduces dangerous behavior (drug use, delinquency, unsafe sex, etc.). When the book was published in 2014, the research hadn’t been expanded to include same sex parents but it was noted that the sentiment still held in homes without a parent who was assigned male at birth (AMAB).
I loved this eye opening starter book on the research into fatherhood and what it means to be the non-birthing parent in a family. Raeburn provided abundant data across all of the concepts addressed, which I found to be a great jumping off point for imagining all of the possible implications! If babies can change the hormones of those around them, how can we better support the whole family? Could there be applications for better inducing lactation for adoptive parents? It could get a little dry if you’re not typically reading popular science, but I think it’s worth a go.
After finishing “Do Fathers Matter?”, I was most excited to leave it on my husband’s desk. A pregnant person gets lots of information about what’s happening to them, what their bodies are doing, and what happens next. Sometimes too much. But if you’re not carrying baby, it has to feel a little isolated. This book showed me that while the bond that comes from pregnancy and delivery is unique, babies are tuned in to everyone around them. By taking care of a baby, you are joining a special circle of people in a slightly altered state, focused on some of the hardest work there is. Understanding that is empowering!
Thanks for reading! If you found this helpful, leave me a note. I’d love to hear from you!