Sleep Like a Baby
Babies don’t like routine. Unlike us, they are very much unaware of the passage of time. As a matter of fact, their bodies don’t even know the difference between day and night for a few months (source)! As a consequence, the house is quickly thrown into turmoil. With more responsibility spread over a wide range of hours, new parents are easy to spot from the bags under their eyes and the fog in their brains. But it doesn’t have to be like this! From my own postpartum experiences and listening to stories from hundreds of other women, I would like to offer these tips to help you have a more restful postpartum period. It won’t look like before, but you still deserve some sleep. So learn how to sleep like a baby: whenever you can.
Before you start, I want to emphasize the importance of stillness and rest for postpartum mothers. Your body is healing from immense work. In many cultures around the world, new mothers are protected by traditional practices that keep them in bed for 40+ days following birth. She eats special healing foods, gets massages, and has her housework taken care of. While most of us don’t have access to support like that, the central lesson remains the same. A postpartum body must be nourished and rested; put smaller things aside.
Exhaustion makes everything worse - resisting rest only makes it harder to do the things that are important to you. Get ahead of overwhelm by anticipating time for rest. Instead of planning chores or outings, try to stay in bed a little longer. “Not enough” sleep can easily become chronic sleep deprivation, which has real consequences (source)
Everyone told us, “Sleep when the baby sleeps!” l don’t know about you, but trying to force myself to sleep during the 45-90 minute windows my baby offered was anything but relaxing. Instead, emphasize restful and restorative activities when you don’t feel sleepy—reading, listening to music or audiobooks, or just taking a quick bath or shower. Keeping lights and volumes low helps with this, as well.
Aim to get at least one 4-hour stretch of sleep in during every 24 hours. It might not feel like a full night’s rest, but it will help you stay out of the sleep deprivation trap.
Stay horizontal. The temptation to get up and clean will hit you at some point, probably sooner than you think. Resist! If you’re lying down or lounging, your miraculous body is still and able to focus on healing. If you can’t shake the urge to be “productive” (my least favorite word), grab your laptop and do some computer chores. That’ll probably help you get some sleep!
Ignore the clock. Would you normally put on your pajamas and settle in for a long sleep at 4 p.m.? No. Is that when your opportunity arose today? Maybe. Go to bed when you can, not when the clock says you should. Your baby has no idea what time it is, and you can let go of that idea for a little while, too. Eventually, your little one will learn the difference, and things can settle into their new normal.
The first weeks you spend with your new baby as a new family are packed with new experiences, even if this isn’t your first baby. Remember that this is an extraordinary time with them that you’ll only get once. Take good care of yourself and each other to get the most out of it.
Hiring a postpartum doula can make a difference in how your family experiences exhaustion and lack of sleep with a newborn. I offer breastfeeding and soothing education to help get the baby to sleep, but I’m also (very) happy to hold your wide-awake bundle of joy while you doze off. By working with a postpartum doula, your family receives the ultimate in customized care, focussing on what is important to you and what you need most as you and your baby get to know each other.
Give me a call if you want more sleep!